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“Like Father like Daughter (part II)”

Like father like daughter – part II (Dutch)

My father wrote everything down – per minute – what he did, think, ate, drank, how tall he was, how many kilos his weight was, day in day out. In approximately 10 years he created a document of more than 8000 pages.

To show you the level of detail, a small example of his writing:

19:02h: 2 x 25 cc Ruby port / 2x 25 cc. Jagermeister

19:12h: stool + 190 cc urine (very dark) / 35% max / bolus / Interval

19:20h: mass 270 grams / 2 x 10 grams cheese

19:50h: 2 x 25 cc Fiero / 2 x 25 cc Jagermeister

20:02h: 1 x petit pain, wheat + cheese

01:19h: radiated to fall asleep multiple times / 2 x 25 cc Jagermeister

01:50h: 283 gram chicken / 6 minutes in microwave / 140 grams of red cabbage and one apple / 2 x 25 cc custard

I realised you need a whole lot of time to write all this stuff down. So when I fell ill I started to try to write like my father.

I found out that my thoughts changed in the direction of ‘what time is it now? I still have to write down, this and that’. After a week of writing stuff down, my thoughts were still focussed on writing everything down. It was really scary how it took over my thinking proces. It took a few days before that disappeared.

I also find out that based upon what you eat, do, think, you start to get judgmental, even thinking for a moment ‘Am i really going to write this down or am I going to lie here?’. Shame is kicking in there, the desire to make it look better than it really is. Like we do on Facebook, Instagram and lots of other social media.

If I relate this writing down of everything, nowadays we keep track of everything with our smart phones – plus necessary apps – it is not that different. Only more easily accepted. You can track your running, your heart rate, your sleeping patterns, your weight, your amount of cigarettes you smoke, your locations you share with pictures or short movies, and most of the time it is all shared with the rest of the world.

It also links to the new development of ‘Ego-documents’. When someone falls ill, they start writing down how the disease developed, the treatment, how they felt etcetera. And also this is shared, quite often, through a blog, a book, at least with a part of the world. The one aspect that is different with my dad’s diary is, he could not observe his disease, he literally stuck in his disease.

So how stuck are we all getting in the ‘thinking process’ of noting and sharing everything we do? Will this be our new way to create self esteem, based upon the feedback you get from the people you share it with? It is even a development where our mind will not be focussed on the ‘now’ but on ‘how did I do, and what is next, did I forget something important?’ Is it the opposite of Mindfulness? I am, because I keep track of everything I do and share it with the world?

Off course we also could look at this from a medical point of view:

If you kept track of all your running, walking, eating patterns – will a doctor ask you to share this and tell you, you did not take good care of yourself so this illness is your own problem?

From an economical point of view:

We share all are data, creating big data for the big companies. We all know they can make money with it. Is this a sustainable economic system? Off course this question has been raised multiple times already.